20 juin 2009
6
20
/06
/juin
/2009
17:25
Weird day today. Woke up less restored than usual. After yesterday's episode, I am scanning myself and especially breathe function and belly region, which of course brings more questions than answers. Can one become asthmatic at 37? Is it normal to go through such scary accidents? Looks like the start of a vicious circle I should better stop now. I suppose that after the flood you pay more attention to your local river.
Just after the flood
boats in every garden
flowers in the mud
Grey day, with some soft rain moments, but most of all a cold day. Tomorrow is the summer solstice and today the last day of spring. We had big discrepancies both in temperature and in weather these two last weeks, and even without thinking always of global warming it seems weird seasons and weather generally to be so unstable. But again it could be that before no one paid attention daily, we were all relying on sayings to know what the month would be like. Nevertheless, I can't remember a cold and rainy June.
through blossoming hedge
blackbirds hopping on the lawn
rain is gonna come
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19 juin 2009
5
19
/06
/juin
/2009
19:55
Woke up at five, no possible going back to sleep. In the bathroom, one of the two ceiling lights is dark, which creates a kind of underground atmosphere, not completely out with my mood for the day.
one out of two out
crows are barking a last call
in the summer rain
Outside a very light rain falls on my new grey suit, birds are flying like mad cars on a shut down traffic light crossroad. I am walking like a def cat, with independent leg and ear pounding with my heartbeat.
In the station access street, a neon sign is flickering. Oh my, ghost light again. As yesterday, got no music to listen to, but by chance after my lesson's end I am meeting colleagues in the train. Saved by work chit chat.
Rather usual working day. Coming back through the usual evening free sauna on the line 13, at Saint-Lazare an old bluesman is singing and shaking his national steel, his song is kind of changing rhythm of hurrying passengers and taken aback, we are all hopping like blackbirds to avoid collision. Thank you, man.
At night, five minutes after light shutdown, my heart is seized as in a lock, feeling like I can't breathe anymore, I hurry to sit down in my bed. Getting out and walking in the flat for one hour, breathing forcedly through my hands. A simple panic crisis, or do I call an ambulance?
Walking and walking
breathing as through a thick wall
is it my last hour?
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18 juin 2009
4
18
/06
/juin
/2009
19:14
Cotton coopery clouds all around the sky when I leave home, like a field just above my eyes. Oh the songs of the birds today I am listening to carefully, while they fly across the air in formation.
No music to listen to today in the train, I just put out of my bag all that I could, so that package could fit in, which happens by chance only. After my daily lesson I am left to internal thoughts.
weird door buzzer sound
all the passengers freeze -
early summer morning
Yesterday meeting at world's end resulted in excess of heat in my office. Did not know I worked in a sun oven. The window wide open lets the early morning fresh air come in, and after minutes only gone with the wind both the heat and its horrible smell in this decaying place. Let the cool in!
half open window
all papers cold and flying
swallow formation
Meeting in the brand new building today, welcoming hostess helps me with the path. Color coded lifts, anonymous corridors, number tags...better keep the painting copies at hand, should we want to recognize the floors.
Out of the red lift
Neither left nor right are left
from spring to summer
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17 juin 2009
3
17
/06
/juin
/2009
17:40
This morning, clouds like a slight white coat of paint slithered and worked as with a brush, so that only clear blue streaks appear on the blue summer sky, a blue on blue impression. Hopping blackbird looks at me, declines whistling my song, and gets away.
Lavender brush clouds
sliding on a clear blue sky
early June morning
On the way to the station, through a hole between buildings, the church steeple comes uninvited between house chimneys, giving an impression of thousand and one nights city minarets, but only from one single point on the pavement.
walk along shop fronts
a glimpse of church and chimneys
summer morning rose
Meeting at other Region's end, after a two hour trip I feel like I put a belt around the earth ; meeting scheduled in a large park exceeding by far the needed place for the buildings, built at golden age by a national ranking building company whose parts have been sold today. Somehow the park maintains illusion of this age, at least till you cross a building entrance and have a look inside. Less glorious indeed.
Coming back home, again two transportation hours make me sleepy and dizzy, even irish tour songs cannot help me to stay awake. Lord I get the blues, must be kind of a jetlag.
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16 juin 2009
2
16
/06
/juin
/2009
19:24
Singing birds everywhere. Swallows, sparrows, martins, no crows this morning. Only notes, trilles, chirps, twitters, echoing my footsteps, bringing me back to focus, like sweet kiai. Or rather like walking inside a piano. At the company park entrance, security guard but no welcoming cat today. Weird, this cat usually haunts this place close to the red fire hydrant.
swallows singing rounds
cat is out for love or war
welcome back spring -
Sun came back after a complete rainy day. No glimpse of a rainbow, nor catch of a treasure, just a sweet crystal clear blue sky summer morning, first of the year.
Getting to work early, just the time to send an important mail, and the network crashes off and falls down for the day. A no network day bears no resemblance to warcraft no flight days. No drunken pilots, no crazy corridor runs, just a return to good ol times voice chat, like before numeric and three double u times.
mail and net off -
On side offices : neighbours!
early summer breeze
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15 juin 2009
1
15
/06
/juin
/2009
20:10
This morning, a very light rain falls on my way to the station. Something between the mist and the drizzle, that lets you just slightly wet while sparing your shoes, tie and suit.
morning drizzle -
cats under the cars and me
meowing aloud
I really like the rain. Even in June, which does not usually correspond to rainfalls under this latitude. While the sun flatters the house orange and red colours in Salamanca or Santa Fe, rain somehow reveals the beauty of parisian streets and buildings. OK, not a shower, but a rain like this morning's gets over the town like a shining curtain, it also hides bad smellings in old and dirty places, and lets you alone face to face with the stones, cobbles and history. And lush trees.
tepid June drizzle
through Monceau park golden bars
radiant green leaves
Walking in the streets under a light rain, mouth open to drink the water streaming on your face, singing aloud...what a better way to go through Paris than in a car, a bus, and even a fly boat, to get caught in usual traffic jam, or stay inside a museum. Paris, one of the most beautiful city in the world, appears only to passers-by, fools, lovers, all pedestrians.
a shelter maybe
gate to a hidden garden
summer rain curtain
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14 juin 2009
7
14
/06
/juin
/2009
17:23
Yesterday we had a major argument my love and me. One of those annual monsters that bring you on the verge of something serious and dirty and make you say bad things that'll take years of efforts to overpass, bad things you say after all logical points and examples have run out, just in order to hurt the other in front of you. Discussion aftermath like coldwar with no words for hours; got reconciled just before sleeping and have both of us a hell of a bad night afterwards. Aching awakening.
This morning we all wake up early to fulfill our promise to our youngest son and go to see the animals at the zoo, which happens to be located at an hour car trip in the far west. On the way to our car, clouds like white coat set with a trowel, and a full grid drawn by multiple plane tracks. A plugging day?
On the way to Thoiry park, a couple of buzzards perched side by side on the side poles. Unable to take the picture, but we touch hands and smile, and find unity again. As usual, she drives as I am zapping madly between radio stations. This wave we went through.
parallel plane tracks
two buzzards perched on side poles
love you till I die
We find at Thoiry a commuter's nightmare : a one hour and a half traffic jam on the so called African park central road ,all this for the price of a good meal. Of course, wild animals make impossible to open the windows or get out the car, so you have to enjoy it from you bunkerised car while external temperature indeed climbs up the ladder til african standards, which makes it worse than A86 afternoon peak hour. If this was enough to make you sick, avoid thinking of the poor animals that have to endure this for hours every day and try to live amid the cars.
We finally settle in the poet inn's garden to find a good lunch after this bloody trip, calm down and take the return path. On our way home, tired of get cooked in our car, music flees by the open windows.
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13 juin 2009
6
13
/06
/juin
/2009
17:44
A busy day today. On the morning, family house cleaning and public library ; on the afternoon, cinema and shopping. Seems that spring did indeed end yesterday : from morning on, got dry, hot air, and no wind at all; empty streets at 2 pm, on my head strikes a giant hammer of a sun, feel like a roasting chicken. Yep, this is continental summer.
after lunch walk -
even in sky scraper shades
the summer heat !
Gone watch Night at the museum (second opus) with my bigger son. In this large, dark and almost empty room, we find cool air at last. Even not being a huge Ben Stiller fan, since I do not belong to those his style annoys, time goes by rapidly.
deep orchestra stalls
movie instead of a nap
summer stayed outside
After the movie, back in the oven we wander through the open market trying to stay at bay from the loudspeakers till we find the coffee-roasting shop. A dark and rather ancient place, crammed with tea and coffee pots, with sweets of all kind on every possible place : chocolate of course, but also honey, marshmallow, and candy. Fresh ground coffee we buy smells so strong that all along the way back home we feel environed by a coffee cloud.
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12 juin 2009
5
12
/06
/juin
/2009
18:47
This morning, soft air, no wind, and clouds like wool taken of a giant beige sheep. Unusually calm and quiet.
Wool clouds -
drummed on duellist soft steps
parading blackbirds
Quiet and regular commuter trip on train 1 and 2, but a stuck train waits for me on platform 3. Announcements state a bug on the track, a bus service to be set in place of. I get on. On a blue seat, tired of the ventilator staccato and the boring pattern of announcements, I put on Dylan. Blood on the tracks.
Bathing in beautiful songs, sharing his frustration, anger and nostalgy, his voice holds me in the crowded car. Early morning has passed away when I arrive to the office.
Quiet day to work, contrasting with yesterday's fever. Same chaos rules, but walks in cotton sleepers. Too much change in a short time, and more change to come in three months. And then, a change of change?
People come and go. Met two people today on their last day, while tenths of anonymous interns walk the corridors. No time to say goodbye, trying nevertheless to take the time to say hello.
Back on the train, dreaming of the old place.
logfire smelling
red virginia coated walls
now a sold house -
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11 juin 2009
4
11
/06
/juin
/2009
22:12
Waited for my love inside an internet cafe on the small rue du roi de Sicile. After a time, the need to stay outside in the street takes me completely again and I get out. The sun is oustandingly bright.
shop inside was dark
first the street grey pavement
then only the sun!
In the streets, all restaurants have put tables on the pavement outside. Arriving on the place de l'Hotel de Ville, the saint-Jacques tower, wide enough to hide the sun, not quite enough to lower its light, appears like a candle in the middle of a fire. Hordes of pigeons are flying around, almost hidden inside the light.
summer street dinner
sun eclipsed by a tower
black bullets of birds
June is a double agent : summer japanese tourists, walking in order and holding the same ice cup with the same hand, are sharing the place with tenths of wildly kissing lovers. Is it the last day of spring, or do seasons walk together today?
japanese tourists
lovers kissing in the street
June of both seasons
For you, my love :
we held hands tonight
peonies lost petals
just remember me
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